How To Alter Your Outlook on Life in a few Simple Steps // (Styling the Trench Coat with Jack Wills)

3.9.17
it's september. the season is changing. and so are the latest trends in fashion. 

(just in case you too got caught up in the rollercoaster whirlwind of life and aren't quite sure how we got here because i'm 99% sure it was only yesterday i hazily, a few gins down, was inwardly proclaiming that 2017 was gunna be my year ... i.e. that thing we all say at the start of every year to give ourselves hope and pretend like we can actually pull ourselves together instead of whining about how quickly life shits itself away)

did you take a breath in your head when you read that? i sort've imagined it to be fast-paced, slightly sarcastic and with v little pausing ~ a metaphor of how this year has panned out on my part (and probably many of yours too). exhausting, isn't it?

all of that sounds a bit bitter i think. pessimistic to say the least. and do you know what? i'll be honest ~ up until last week, it probably was. it definitely was. i looked back to the beginning of this year, reflected on the summer and kept kicking myself when that guilty, sinking reminder of 'but what have i even done?' kept overbearing anything remotely positive or happy that crept into my head.

i am wearing

trench coat | jack wills (check out their guide on how to style them)
jeans | h&m
trainers | nike
bag | givenchy
sunglasses | new look

i haven't had a 'proper' holiday/escape this year, although i wanted it to be filled with travel. have, as usual, battled with bad bouts of mental health issues at multiple stages. decided to end a relationship, provoked by something which will, most likely, remain with me for life. moved into a flat that i thought i adored but is currently proving to be more problematic than it is fun. fallen out with people whom i valued and treasured so highly but perhaps misjudged, and quite frankly, have struggled hugely with the stresses of london, alongside balancing self-employment with a 'regular' job, not knowing what i want or where i need to be or how much time i can offer. 

when you look at things like that, of course it hasn't been my year. i've essentially just pulled out all the crap, written it down and labelled it as complete. 2017 in a nutshell. shitty, right?

wrong. 

last week, mumma gold (remarried, dw) put on a film (took a week down in brighton for family time, rest and recuperation for my own sanity ~ 11/10 would recommend. mums are magical and fix everything i swear to god). a film which initially, admittedly, only had half of my attention (instagram, why you so addictive??) but ten minutes later, i was gripped.

if you haven't seen 'about time' i urge you to set aside a couple of hours to watch it. in that short period, it has completely changed my entire outlook and taught me to appreciate life for what it is. or at least try to.

to put it briefly (and please bear with me on this one, i haven't gone entirely crazy), the film is about time travel. –KEEP READING, I PROMISE– the main character, alongside his dad, have the ability to rewind time and redo or relive whatever they like to their satisfaction. accidents, embarrassments, memories ~ anything. of course, it all comes with consequences. the snowball effect. and once a new child is born, they can't go back in time to before the birth, without everything completely changing and them living an entirely alternate lifestyle when they return to the current date. and so he has to choose between being able to revisit his dad in the past, or giving birth to a new baby in the present ~ if you're a fellow sensitive soul, i advise you bring tissues. 

it's funny, hope-inducing and emotional. and he finally comes to realise that he doesn't need to go back in time if he spends each moment learning to appreciate the present. making the best out of every situation, however trivial, and acknowledging that bad shit has to happen before things can change for the better. 

the truth is, now i don’t travel back at all, not even for the day. i just try to live everyday as if i've deliberately come back to this one day. to enjoy it. as if it was the full final day. of my extraordinary, ordinary life.

so let's switch things around:

  • this year, i haven't had a 'proper' holiday but i got invited on an all-expenses paid trip to amsterdam for 48 hours and conquered travelling abroad alone, smoothing out any apprehensions i had whilst i was there, with an old friend who i didn't speak to for a long time ~ because we both realised we had been dumb
  • i've had down phases where i let MH get the better of me, yet i'm still here and the earth is still revolving ~ hell, even the sun is streaming through the window, via a cloudless sky whilst i write this. and it's SEPTEMBER (did i tell you that already?!)
  • finally accepted that break ups aren't the end of the world, although they may feel like it. we're more independent than we think and don't need to rely on anybody else for validation or reassurance
  • i live with my sister ffs. one of my favourite humans in the world. she is hilarious and i love her and she makes me happy, and no amount of shitty property managers, mouldy clothes, broken boilers, damp, cracked windows and wet dog/rotten egg smells can take away from that
  • i've learned that arguments can teach you a lot about a person but a great deal more about yourself. i'll be the first to admit that i'm stubborn af and am nowhere near perfect. but i'm also forgiving and i care (probably too much), even if that care can often get misconstrued. chances are, i'm overthinking every exchange, weeks down the line, and wishing i'd said something differently or not said things at all, for that matter. forgiveness won't always heal everything or return things to how they once were, and you may realise that 'how things once were' are no longer how you want them, however, it may just help you come to peace with at least yourself. and as my wise pal chlo once said, "if it's meant to be mended then it will, and if it isn't, then it won't" (edited slightly bc she got carried away and mumbled a bit but it made sense in both our heads l o l)
  • and finally, realised that it's okay to not have everything all figured out. as long as we know we're doing our best, things will quite often fall into place. don't force them. this year, i've worked with brands i only ever dreamed of on the blogging side of my work, and helped run campaigns for some of the biggest, global companies on the other (i work in influencer marketing if you didn't know), in a company that's growing quicker than i can say "fuck, how's another year gone by already?". that's an achievement and i'm proud about it, therefore all that time i've been struggling to manage has gone into something hugely worthwhile

isn't it funny how my 2017 has one-eightied in the space of a few, rambling paragraphs and probably even fewer breathing breaks? 

how about yours?


as autumn rolls in, make sure you have a read of jack wills' handy guide on how to style a trench coat. see, life advice over here and fash advice over there ~ you'd better not be all info'd out!

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photography by soph

~ this post was sponsored by jack wills, however all opinions, styling and tangents belong to yours truly