i've always loved language.
i've always loved the idea of thoughts falling from your mind onto paper in a state of pure, expressive freedom.
but recently, my passion for language has fallen short of what it used to be. my longing to communicate and showcase myself with words has been replaced with a lust for something more ... visual. something which has always been there, but had perhaps, previously, become part of a more balanced approach to my work. trying to be inclusive of all of my skills, as opposed to perfecting and developing the one i began to appreciate the most.
this had me questioning my position within this industry.
"am i really still a blogger if i no longer want to write?"
will people stop paying attention and brands no longer want to work with me if i alter my aesthetic to something which more closely encompasses my current, creative state? and i say 'current' because, as we all know, things can change so quickly. and that is a 'fine' thing. change is growth. and i never want to write off (excuse the pun) something which has been such a hugely important part of my past.
writing was(/is) my therapy. as it is for many of us in this industry, and is often the reason we wound up here in the first place.
~ an outlet to communicate true feelings, without having to sit and tell somebody face-to-face. something which i've battled with throughout my life and in all fairness, still do to this day. but i'm learning to talk more ... perhaps that's why i'm needing to write less.
it's not that i'm falling out of love with writing. and it's not that i don't want to write, per se. i just simply feel less obliged to do so as often. and whilst in the past, i'd jump straight into blaming myself, repeatedly putting it down to 'lack of motivation' and panicking about not being able to live up to invisible standards; i'm finally coming to terms with the fact that it's just a lesser prominent part of me nowadays. things are different and that's ok.
lack of motivation stems from feeling a need to be doing something, yet not possessing the necessary will, or sometimes even the means, to do so. but what if that need no longer exists? or just simply doesn't exist in that moment. what if we're holding onto said 'need' because it's something we're used to? it's routine. but really it's only still there because we're failing to accept that things can adjust.
my desire for creative expression is, at present, satisfied more through an alternate medium. so why not just let it flow and see how that goes, instead of continuing to force something which isn't, currently, supposed to be there??
I am wearing
Jacket | Missguided
Jeans | ASOS
Boots | Miss Selfridge (similar here)
Sunglasses | Missguided
Bag | Gucci
this isn't me composing a death note for liv in fashion, by the way. we still firmly have our feet on this ever-evolving, digital ground over here. just please don't be alarmed that there may be a few changes. i'm talking less novel, more moodboard. less copy, more ... 'me'.
i have more imagery inspo than you can imagine ~ you can follow over on instagram for daily doses of that. but right now, i'm not a writer. or at least, i don't really feel like one. though, that's not to say the shakespeare in me won't resurface at any random moment. and when that happens, i shall equally embrace it. *cue cheesy-but-true cliché*
"whatever will be, will be"
change can be terrifying. but more often than not, although the immediate effect won’t always appear so, it winds up as a positive; something that has to happen to alter an outlook. to give us a chance to reassess ourselves and our circumstances.
that can’t be all bad, can it?
shakespeare, signing off from what seemingly ended up a deeper post than expected …
♡
photography by beth
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